a Star is born 

[by Sister Mary Corita Kent]

“Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.”   [Daniel 12:3]

I once was lost in Los Angeles. For many many years I was aimlessly pursuing a dream in the entertainment industry that was elusive and highly competitive. As the years passed by, the dream was getting harder and harder to define as hard as it was to obtain or even just to taste it. I had a few 15 minutes here and there, but the closer I seemed to get to “making it,” it was clear that I didn’t have a clue what “it” was, and I was convinced it wasn’t going to fulfill me anyway. I didn’t have Jesus in my life! And if He is truly the Way like He says He is, I was like a ship without a rudder in the middle of the ocean, entirely directionless, destined for destruction. But thank God, little did I know at the time, He was keeping His eyes on me and guiding me like a faithful captain.

But where did this dream even come from? How did I end up here? “What happened to architecture?” as my dad would sometimes ask me over the phone. I moved from Indiana to Los Angeles in 2010 more in pursuit of the first “love of my life” (who wound up in Riverside, which is hell on earth if you ask me) than in pursuit of my academic and professional goals. After my first major heartbreak and a slew of minor ones shortly thereafter, two years of intense schooling at USC, and a summer stint on a reality show, I found myself with a Masters in Architecture but no real desire to pursue it in the “real world.” I found other doors opening, and a small voice reminded me that I was in the City of Dreams. If I didn’t pursue this thing now, when would I ever? Would I find myself looking back on my life full of regret?

But what made me think I could even do it? I mean, as a small-town girl from Indiana the thought of becoming an actor, or better yet a filmmaker, never even occurred to me. I do remember being jealous of my cousins who were in extracurricular drama programs, but I was way too shy for those types of things. The most courageous I got was playing a pirate in the chorus of “Pirates! The Musical” in middle school and later joining the high school choir. 

But I absolutely loved going to the movies! Every weekend, I would go stay at my dad’s and he would always take me to go see at least one movie in the theater. I remember one particular moment at a very young age, I was watching this film (I don’t recall what it was) and having this thought of “Oh, I’m going to do this when I grow up.” Of course, most people get a particular feeling when they go to the movies, when they are engrossed in an engaging moving story told beautifully - that’s why we all go to the movies! - but this felt like something else. From those early years, I suppose something was embedded in my spirit. I may not have been aware at the time, but once I found myself in a place where it could happen - where it was indeed happening and other people were doing it, too - it re-emerged. 

Storytelling is our greatest and oldest art form, and cinematic storytelling I am convinced is one of the most powerful forces in the world - more powerful than an atomic bomb. Why are we humans so drawn to story and its telling? It’s not only ingrained in us, it’s what sets us apart from every other living creature on the face of the earth. “We tell ourselves stories in order to live,” as Joan Didion famously wrote. But where does story originate? You can’t tell me it just evolved from nothing. The Author of life, the One who spoke the world and everything in it into being, the One who formed you in your mother’s womb and who works everything for your good day in and day out - He Himself wrote our story before the foundation of the world and wrote Himself into it, too, to save us! Jesus is our True Hero.

I may not have made it yet to the big screen, but God isn’t done with my story. He isn’t done with yours either. I am so grateful that instead of a Hollywood career, I got God. I am so grateful that He has kept that door closed. I see now that He was protecting me, reserving me for such a time as this. I was lost. I didn’t know who I was. Now that I am firmly rooted in Him, I can go out and pursue those God-given dreams because it isn’t about me. It’s about Him. And I want to tell stories that glorify Him, that show who He is in all His Beauty and Wonder and Love.

And praise God - I now am found. Still in the City of Angels, but now with a clear mission in mind and heart.