in the beginning...

[by Sister Mary Corita Kent]

“For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”   _{[1 Corinthians 3:9]}

I have been trying to heed the voice of God more and more lately. When I first came to the Lord (or, rather, “When He came to me” is more like it!) – over three years ago – I was obsessed with finding my “calling.” I was preoccupied with doing rather than being. God was my teacher whom I had to please with my performance through the completion of my “assignments.” And the Lord knows as a child that is how I was validated. It was through my performance at school. I was highly competitive, but that’s because I was trying to make up for something else – something I seemed to lack. My parents weren’t together – hadn’t been since I started walking – in fact, they hadn’t ever even been married. I was technically illegitimate, a “bastard.” I suppose this must’ve felt like somewhat of a scarlet letter I had to carry through my adolescence. If I couldn’t have a perfect family then I could have perfect grades. 

As a baby Christian, I was striving for perfection before a perfect God not realizing I could never ever attain it. Plus, God had never demanded this of me. He wasn’t even asking me to do anything for Him. He was wanting me to just be. To just sit quietly at His feet. To listen to Him. To hear Him speaking Truth and Love over me. [Confession: I don’t do this enough.] But it's totally okay. I made a lot of mistakes (and will continue to no doubt), but God does not fault me for it. I have learned and grown so much in such a little time it's really rather remarkable, and the only explanation is His divine power and grace operating in and through me. 

During that time, I was running to other “teachers” when He is our Wonderful Counselor. I was constantly seeking divine direction through others more seasoned in the faith, those who were gifted in prophecy. I started collecting prophetic words like I was starting a new hobby. I look back now in embarrassment, but I’m sure God was rather amused, and He did encourage me an awful lot. I was like a kid in a candy shop! I was utterly amazed to realize that God not only knows everything that has already happened in my life but knows every single thing that is going to happen. And of course this isn't why we should seek Him. Yes, He holds our future in His hands, but we must seek Him for Him, not treat Him like some psychic behind a crystal ball. He is truly the only thing we need in this life, and if we have Him quite frankly it doesn't really matter what comes. But at the time I was so hung up on going the right way, not missing a step, that I was missing out on the opportunity to just be still in the presence of my Maker.

I’ve always had a sense of something hanging over my life - a destiny, a calling, a path. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt that that path was before me, my story already written, but that I can only see the next step right in front of me. Maybe you have this feeling, too. It makes total sense that the One who created me is orchestrating my entire life – every fleeting detail. This isn’t to say I am merely a robot. Obviously, we each have a will and we get to exercise it every moment of every day. But there are certain things that just seem to line up perfectly in life, don’t you think? Now, as a follower of Jesus, I get to be an active, conscious participating partner, a co-creator with Him. I get to carry His Spirit wherever I go, and be a channel in bringing Heaven to Earth. How amazing is that?

So, this is my step of faith, an act of obedience unto the Lord. Starting a blog doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I am praying my story sends ripples through the vast ocean of humanity. Whether you are a believer or not and are reading this, I am praying, I am hoping that my stories will inspire you and give you hope and that you may even dare to believe (again). 

Because I know that God loves you just as much as He loves me, and He is writing your story, too, and your story is beautiful.